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It's Going

by Normalcy

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1.
Cold sweat and I can barely see I'm still laying here in my jeans I try to force myself to feel nothing Maybe then I can go back to sleep You cut me out of the picture but you've got tape behind your back So you slipped me into your pocket But told everyone else I'm out with the trash Oh please forgive me For all of my bleeding Is making a mess right before your big party And I should be sorry That you cut me open And all of this red won't appeal to your house guests They say pick your battles this time you chose wrong And I'll make sure everyone knows you're a fraud I'm not something you get to just throw away And now you'll regret this every fucking day I don't even need to say your name you're the Patron saint of liars and fakes and I Am disappointed in myself for thinking that maybe I wasn't the same You used me like you used them Motherfucker it happened again You played me like a game and I'm not sorry to say That this time you're not gonna win Oh please forgive me For all of my bleeding Is making a mess right before your big party And I should be sorry That you cut me open And all of this red won't appeal to your house guests They say pick your battles this time you chose wrong And I'll make sure everyone knows you're a fraud I'm not something you get to just throw away And now you'll regret this every fucking day There's been plenty of times That I have been wrong But at least I have the guts to admit my faults You laughed in my face When I was in pain And the look in your eyes I could not even name It was vacant and cold and it didn't look human An empty and shallow excuse for emotion So go hide your face and tell yourself that it's fine 'Cause I know that you know that this time I'm right
2.
Today marks the end of daylight savings time But I don't think that's why I feel so strange tonight Could it be the distant fog in my headlights as I drive Down these empty streets to your house for what I hope is the final time and It always hurts to lose a friend Especially one so close But it hurts more to question my self worth so this has to be all she wrote I'll give you all of your things back And you'll give me all of mine And I'll wonder how much you really mean it When you tell me goodnight Here I am Standing on the edge of a cliff And the fear grows inside me as I start to slip In what could be my final moment you won't give me your hand Instead you look me in the eyes and say Say that you understand Today marks the end of daylight savings time But I'm still not alright And you're pretending that you're fine 'Cause I've shown you all my scars and sores And you've shown me yours before But new injuries you hide from me Like you don't trust me anymore I don't know what I did To make you so different I don't know if you think you're better off this way I know I can't take back all the hate that I sent But you can't have me back if you send me away I can't help but feel like I should have tried a little harder To be there for you when we first met And I will die on the hill that I do not love you But we both know liars deserve what they get Here I am Standing on the edge of a cliff And the fear grows inside me as I start to slip In what could be my final moment you won't give me your hand Instead you look me in the eyes and say Say that you understand Well you don't understand No you don't understand You don't understand You don't understand
3.
I wish I hadn't come over and met all of your friends It's like you're Hearst and I'm Welles and I can never show my face again But if that's how it goes I'll be the one whose name remains And these words will be remembered while you're just their Charles Kane You thought I was just fiendin' And I was but not for that I'm sorry I lied to you I know you saw right through it I wanted so much more from this than all that I let on I should've been more up front But what is done is done I wish I didn't regret Ever calling you a friend I tried to patch this up No matter what It's not enough I wish you hadn't risked a chance on me I gave you warnings that you didn't heed I expected more from you but now I see that was foolish of me That was so foolish of me That was so foolish of me That was so foolish of me I'm more than happy to Share the blame with you But you can't pin this all on me as if you did nothing wrong You thought that this was fine Either that or you lied But I hope you're overcome with guilt every time I cross your mind This shouldn't have been more Than just a pebble in my ocean just some Ripples that would spread out into nothing if not lust But you must've had some kind of hand in my Universe's scheme Because it feels as if without warning the moon was thrust into my sea And now I know why I feel this way Didn't think you'd be the one to blame We both gambled while odds were unsteady And although you won everything else you lost me You lost me You lost me I wish I didn't regret Ever calling you a friend I tried to patch this up No matter what it's not enough I wish you hadn't risked a chance on me I gave you warnings that you didn't heed I expected more from you but now I see that was foolish of me That was so foolish of me That was so foolish of me And although you won everything else you lost me
4.
I didn't know how it would feel To get stuck That is until I got stuck I've never known how to make the best of A shitty situation But here I am Stuck in a shitty situation And I don't know How to make any more money without Sacrificing more things that make me Feel like myself And the last thing I want Is to feel like I'm not the person I wanna be But that's how I've been feeling And will some Kind of love Make me feel any better When I know All I wanna do is leave and Attaching myself to somebody will Have to end in tears or worse The lingering guilt I'll have to feel from Letting someone down Again You can only be content Spending time with just yourself For so long Then one day it'll hit you that Every single day you're dying And fast Or slow Well we're All gonna go eventually And there's nothing you can do so you Might as well try to do something Great
5.
Didn't wanna talk about this with anybody But I guess it's time that I air my dirty laundry For everyone who loves me Or otherwise to see It's time I realize that I have a Not so little problem with jealousy I like to think that I know what is best for me So when I do shit like this it's just embarrassing And I know that how I feel is my fault 'Cause stupid as it was I was still in full control And I've been starting to feel A little self destructive Like it'd be better to just feel numb And I'll admit that I was starting to have doubts But the fact of the matter's This is something I don't get to be upset about I didn't wanna talk about this with anybody But I guess it's time that I air my dirty laundry For everyone who loves me Or otherwise to see It's time I realize that I have a Not so little problem with jealousy And I didn't wanna talk about this with anybody But I guess it's time that I air my dirty laundry and I'll admit that I was starting to have doubts But the fact of the matter's This is something I don't get to be upset about No this is something I don't get to be upset about I'd be lying to say I didn't see this coming 'Cause you really had no way of knowing If I'd even really be Around for you To see this through and The truth is that you deserve better than me But I think that's why I caught myself hoping That you would settle And we'd find out for ourselves But the fact of the matter's This is something I don't get to be upset about And I didn't fall in love But I can't help but just think how All of this could've been different And you and I could've worked out But I did this to myself And it's not fair to sit around And act like I am not the problem When I know what it's about I didn't wanna talk about this with anybody But I guess it's time that I air my dirty laundry For everyone who loves me Or otherwise to see It's time I realize that I have a Not so little problem with jealousy And I didn't wanna talk about this with anybody But I guess it's time that I air my dirty laundry and I'll admit that I was starting to have doubts But the fact of the matter's This is something I don't get to be upset about No this is something I don't get to be upset about

about

**ANY PROCEEDS EARNED FROM THE BANDCAMP RELEASE OF THIS EP WILL GO DIRECTLY TO CHICAGO BOND**

BLM
ACAB

credits

released August 14, 2020

Bass, Guitars, Trombone, Vocals: Maude Stout
Drums: Dylan Fritz
Recorded, Mixed, Mastered: Adam Gay
Euphonium: Tommy Sullivan (We're All Gonna Die)
Guest Vocals: Jeannine Garland (Hey Moon), Cori Kunda (Full Send), Rocco Sabatino (Nancy Wheeler, Pt. 2)

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Normalcy Chicago, Illinois

Sad music for lonely people.

But we can still have fun, right?

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